“My mom could mow the yard, feed the dogs, work in the garden and help us with our homework instead of making my dad do it,” says Mary, 8. “My mom could also make food for special occasions, go grocery shopping, take us to doctors’ appointments, pick our clothes every morning and fix our breakfast, lunch and supper.”
Mary, did you forget something? In her spare time, your mom could start a business that makes $250,000 a year so you and your dad can spend summers at your beach house in the Fiji Islands and weekends playing golf.
“The men make up the rules,” says Andrew, 8. “We fix stuff. We are brave. We are strong. We are fun. We are funny.”
Andrew, it’s true that God ordained men to exercise servant leadership in marriage, but it’s not a license to pound your chest.
“Wives should respect and obey their husbands,” says Kendall, 10. “Now, if the husband tells her to do something wrong, she should tell him it is wrong and not do it. The husbands should let their wives make some choices on their own. Husbands should ask their wives’ advice before making a big decision, but the wife must not barge in and make all the decisions for her family.”
Kendall’s answer contains much wisdom. Scripture clearly states that wives should submit to their husbands as they would to the Lord in everything. Jesus, as the servant leader, should be the role model for every husband. But if he’s not, watch out.
Submitting to an egomaniac won’t be easy. No husband possesses the authority to make his wife sin. If a man tells his wife to cheat, lie or steal, she should respectfully refuse. A godly woman can ask the Lord for wisdom and speak the truth in love if her husband is open to receive it.
Kendall also said husbands should delegate some decision-making to their wives and consult them before making big decisions. Wives need breathing room. Don’t try to micromanage their lives. Men who consult with their wives discover that a woman’s intuition is at times remarkably accurate.
Now, regarding Kendall’s warning to wives about refraining from making all the family decisions, please know he’s on target. Many women wonder in frustration why their husbands fail to be the leaders of their families. Could it be that they’ve given up because they’ve been kicked in the teeth so many times?
In the early 1970s, a Miami housewife saved her marriage by empowering her husband. She saw her husband change from staying late at the office to coming home early. She revived the wild, romantic lover she had known when they were newlyweds.
Marabel Morgan chronicled her experience in a book entitled “The Total Woman.” Her book sold millions and landed her on the cover of Time magazine, much to the ire of women who equate submission with subservience. “Submission is my choice,” Morgan said.
Think about this: If you think submitting to your husband is difficult, think about Jesus submitting to his Father in dying on the cross for our sins. Submission is at the heart of every Christian’s salvation. Jesus forgave when he could have retaliated.
Memorize this truth: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).
Ask this question: Can you submit to your husband even when you think he’s being unwise or unfair, and trust God to honor your obedience?
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Bible quotations are from the New King James Version, unless otherwise noted.
COPYRIGHT 2013 CAREY KINSOLVING